Poem: Resolution

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Copyright: C King
Resolution is my new poem. The word means different things to different people: an outcome, a goal, determination. I would say all of these meanings have had relevance these last few months, and the important thing to take away is that I see light at the end of the tunnel; that what I am doing is taking effect. 

 I am not always able to share what's going on or how I'm feeling, but I am a very positive person and I find my joy in so many things, including simple pleasures.

 Just over a year ago, my last poem thanked those around me for their patience and support, and this hasn't changed. However, I have found myself increasingly grateful for the kindness they have shown me. 

 I hope you enjoy the poem.

Resolution


There aren't the words, at times, to express all that I'm feeling,
There isn’t always strength to deal with what I'm dealing
I know I'm not alone in this; I know that I’m not crazy.
I know my efforts aren't in vain, and I know that I'm not lazy.

I'm somewhat beholden to toe the party line,
I really want to tell the truth, instead of just "I'm fine."
Before another sleepless night, before the sun has risen
It pays to put your ear to ground and really, truly listen.

If I told you all I went through, you’d think I were a marvel,
Too ‘inspirational,’ polished, so honestly cut from marble.
But this is not the truth (not intentionally a lie):
It's the daily balance of scales and I'm not to question why.

They weigh up the kind of day I'll have. What will tip that scale?
What did I do to bring on the sunshine or the hail?
My energy is everything that makes me who I am,
I try so resolutely, determined all goes to plan.

But just like a set of rules some plans are to be broken
For all I want to do and say, should some words go unspoken?
This MS is just a nonsense cause of idle consternation, 
It has little place in life’s changing conversation.

To connect with others is my joyous, saving grace.
It helps to ground me and to put me in my place.
You sincerely mean so much to me; it’s important that I’m able
To tell the people in my life: your presence makes me grateful.

If you’re missing from my life, I can only say I’m sorry
For what I might have done to cause you such a worry.
To say this in person would indeed be a thanks giving,
An opportunity to allay any concerns or misgivings.

I can’t say it all at once, but it’s not ‘cause I’m unwilling,
It’s the courage I’ve to summon, this motivation I’m instilling.
But I know that with each knock-down, or for every bit of hardship,
Family, friends, support as if they were my guardship.

I strategise daily, every nerve fibre to protect,
And I slowly see the outcome of each positive effect.
I fight so very hard to take me to the beginning,
With every image, smile, word I write, I feel as if I’m winning.
© Carla King, 2019



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