Acclimatising: What My MS has Taught Me
I thought I'd share what I have learned in the hope that it helps someone.
Tenacity and Curiosity (with a capital 'C')
These days, I find it hard to give up. I think this is partly because I am older and feel like I can no longer fritter away time. I also think it's because I have a renewed curiosity (frankly, I'm a bit nosey!), which suits my career as a Coach. However, I also know when to let go, when the input of energy required outweighs my need for an outcome. Externally, this looks like I'm giving up, but I'm making a conscious decision to put my precious energy elsewhere (see earlier post about 'spoons').
I have people in my life who care
For a long time, I was angry. I didn't know quite what or who I was angry at but then this turned into something useful. A diagnosis of a chronic condition can weed out friendships that are one-sided and allow you to develop a smaller circle of people to invest in. They, in turn, become your support network. My family are very helpful to me, even if they don't really understand the whole MS thing. The important thing is that I have people around me who offer valuable support and I love them. Surround yourself with loyal supporters.
I listen to myself now
My younger self would have pushed herself to the extreme in almost every aspect of life. I put myself to the side and cared much more about others. The balance was tipped constantly toward making others happy. This included going to work very sick and ending with an adult tonsillectomy and a brief, but nasty skirmish with pneumonia, a couple of months apart. My fatigue was so extreme, I walked around like a zombie for months, sleeping almost entire weekends due to exhaustion, my Vitamin D levels dangerously low. With my immune system bolstered gradually, I took greater control by listening to my body. When I felt fatigue come on, I would rest. When I had spasticity or numbness, I'd take the lift or not walk very far. I went part-time. You get the drift. I began to put myself first, and things unsurprisingly improved. Start with small changes and put yourself first.
It's the small things that really count
When I was younger, all I wanted was a huge circle of people around me, ridiculous amounts of fun, usually involving lots of nights out and big trips to foreign climes with friends. Today, this doesn't appeal, perhaps because I'm in another phase of life, but also because I've acclimatised to my MS and really appreciate the small things now. I love that we have a car now, giving us more freedom as a family. When we go somewhere, the impetus is that of unadulterated joy and laughter. I have a new love of writing (or a rediscovered one) - what are the small things that matter to you?
