Is Attitude Everything?

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What my MS bully feels like
When most people say they regret their past, they are usually talking about their misspent youth, involving some very drunken tale proudly told at reunions. For those with chronic conditions, when the onset is usually in our prime, we usually mean that we regret not making the most of who we were while we had the chance, and not being that person today.

I sometimes wish I'd settled down in my twenties and that I'd had enough time to have an additional child, whilst in a healthier state. I look back at my early thirties as when I had most of my energy, darting around the UK without worrying about energy levels or fatigue creeping into my day. I wish I had had time to prepare myself for my MS bully.

I think most people come close to this kind of regret when they reach a certain age; when they look back and compare their current situation with the 'good old days'.

I often hear that attitude is everything, that mind can overcome matter, that we can somehow will ourselves away from our MS. Whilst this is admirable, sometimes even inspirational, when regret is a factor, this feels as if you may as well ask to climb Mount Everest without equipment. If, added to this, you are the sort of person that needs motivation in tangible ways, then attitude isn't as great a factor after all.

I'm not saying having positive mental attitude is not on our side, I certainly think this is essential, however we are not what we were and will likely never be. This is not me being negative, cynical or depressed; I'm simply being realistic and actually very positive. I find that the more realistic I am, the more I'm able to embrace what I am right now and my ability to adapt increases significantly. I understand my limitations and I'm learning to adapt to them. I'm also trying new approaches to working and living that I wouldn't have thought of without that dose of realism.

Perhaps attitude is less about mind over matter in a chronic health situation, but more about feeling confident that we can adjust to what life throws us. A recognition that this is where we are right now and that we can still control most of what happens to us. That we are adaptable in ways others cannot fathom.


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